Let’s talk commitment issues

We’ve all been through a stage in our life where we can’t commit to anything or anyone. Some longer than others and that’s okay. Our generation looks at commitment issues as such a negative term. It’s like taboo, basically. Yes, we get it.

  • We’re heartless
  • We don’t care about anyone but ourselves
  • We avoid everything at all costs when it gets too real
  • We don’t know what we want and never will

I can go on for days but if all of that is true, why would we keep going back if we know the outcome would be the same end result. A neverending whirlpool of mixed emotions. I can tell you this,

  • I’m not heartless, I just don’t have my heart set out for that person, occupation or goal
  • I do care about people other than myself believe it or not but I also make sure I don’t lose myself in something/someone I don’t enjoy
  • I don’t avoid something when it gets too real, I avoid it when I know I’m not ready nor will I ever be for that particular circumstance
  • What’s wrong with not knowing what you want. Isn’t life about testing and experimenting with the world and what it has to offer. How do you grow up and find yourself if you assume you know everything.

I don’t know about others with this oh so horrible ‘issue’ but I find it as a blessing in disguise. I won’t stop until I am content and why should I? Why should any of us? The day you choose to settle is the day you hand your happiness over. Okay, I’m being dramatic but I do wanna keep my happiness for as long as ever. I’m not a wild thing either. That’s the assumption that always comes to mind when you think “Oh, they have commitment issues.” That’s a stereotype.

There are so many factors that come into play when you assume. Don’t assume negative social pressures influence us. Just because we want to explore and live life, doesn’t mean we have horrible morals. Relax, I’m not going to become a homewrecker or a drug addict. Let’s say it was the lack of a suitable partner and it just didn’t click time and time again. WHO cares. This doesn’t mean we’re picky. This doesn’t mean we’re a tease. This most definitely doesn’t mean we’re a s***.  It just means we’re understanding what we want. Over the course of my life, I finally understood what it means to have somebody invest time based on their own interests versus invest time in each other. The way somebody showcases you versus takes care of you. The way somebody loves you versus admires you. You just learn these things from experience and this (a super highly acquired skill) comes from having these ‘commitment issues’. I never want to depend on somebody and the truth is, you can’t truly connect with somebody until you know who you are (I know, your mind is blown).

There’s obviously a difference between commitment and dependence. The moment you start depending on something/someone, you start losing who you are. That’s why I believe in building a strong foundation of who I am before even somewhat committing. That’s the main question though? Do we ever truly know who we are. I think we’re always going to be growing and finding out these little things about us. When we graduate and travel solo in Europe for the first time, we’ll realize we like being secluded in a cafe or being the social butterfly at the bar. You realize when you move to a different city away from your family what your comfort zone really is. You realize when you meet different men in your life why you thought you had the most perfect man only to realize he was 1/4 of a man any of them were. You need to believe in yourself and just let it happen. To the ones who think negatively of commitment issues, look at the good it brought you and/or people you love. The only commitment issues you should worry about is committing to poke. Unless you commit to soul cycle too, you’ll become a walking poke bowl (me).

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